A democracy of cockroaches?

“HOW does Muslim hate help me?” So spoke the youthful and prima facie well-meaning founder of the online Cockroach Janta Party, or CJP. Abhijeet Dipke was once an activist in the Aam Aadmi Party. He was trying to affirm that hate could not be the plank of his internet-based club, which is rapidly gaining members and has left the BJP behind in online popularity. There’s a humorous edge to the saga. To qualify as members, applicants need to be “unemployed, lazy, chronically online and be able to rant professionally”. To the extent that some of the features seem to be in line with other sarcastic and essentially crazy outfits flourishing in different corners of the world, the Cockroach party should have nothing to worry about regarding its future. The Monster Raving Loony Party has been a satirical UK political party founded in 1983 by the musician and entertainer David “Screaming Lord” Sutch. It exists to mock mainstream politics, using absurdity and humour to highlight the perceived silliness of traditional parliamentary battles. In Kanpur, Uttar Pradesh, there was a horse-riding candidate in the 1970s who called himself Dharti Pakad (grab the earth) and put his name on the ballot paper in several constituencies. However, since the CJP has waded into a palpably troubling vacuum because the main opposition parties have been struggling to confront the erring government without a workable plan to oust it, the occasion calls for unsparing scrutiny. Dipke says the online party was a response to the comments by the chief justice of India who reportedly described the young people feverishly filing petitions as cockroaches. The comments came in the midst of a national crisis wherein hundreds of thousands of boys and girls who passed school were taking a federally monitored admission test to medical colleges. The paper was leaked and the test cancelled. Eleven applicants reportedly committed suicide. Similar bungling was reported at the central school certificate exam body. A key criticism of employment growth under the Modi government has been the severity of youth unemployment. The CJP’s response came with alacrity, something the opposition behemoths lack. It put up four demands as pillars of its manifesto and they ticked important boxes. It advocated a lifetime ban on retiring chief justices from being appointed to the Rajya Sabha. The chief justice who passed the Ayodhya judgement in favour of Hindus was inducted into the Upper House of parliament, ostensibly as a reward. The Cockroach party then says that deletion of votes should be treated as terrorism. If a legitimate voter roll is tampered with in any state, the chief election commissioner should face arrest under strict anti-terror statutes. It proposes that 50 per cent parliamentary and cabinet seats be allocated to women, without expanding the total House capacity. This requires incumbent male politicians to vacate these seats. Broadcasting licences of major corporate news conglomerates (such as the Adani- and Ambani-owned outlets) should be revoked to address media bias. And finally, it proposes a 20-year election ban for members of parliament and members of the legislative assembly who switch political parties. These are serious issues for the opposition parties to ponder or act on. Since the Cockroach Janta Party has waded into a palpably troubling vacuum, the occasion calls for an unsparing scrutiny. But suppose Muslim hate did become helpful as it did for so many, unwittingly. What then, dear Abhijeet? It’s a given that there are direct and indirect benefits of communal hatred in India. It helps polarise votes for and against the hater. In other words, non-haters would be jobless together with the haters if Muslim hate, or Christian or Dalit hate somehow stopped. Of course, hate enables the hater to also dodge press conferences where the occasional tough question is primed to be flung at anyone in authority. Currently raging topics such as the petrol price rise, fertiliser and LPG shortages — tightly wrapped in corruption — compromised state institutions such as the judiciary, election commission, bureaucracy and police, and a foreign policy spurred by the interests of friendly business tycoons could all be embarrassing on a public platform. Hate is a good decoy too. The Aam Aadmi Party, of which Dipke was a part, can’t be accused of communal hatred. But then, it kept studiously aloof when the anti-citizenship laws campaign was launched by Muslim women of Delhi. The party disappeared like the Cheshire cat when police joined Hindu extremists in attacking Muslim protesters in Delhi in February 2020. Hindus and Muslims had lived in relative harmony in Muzaffarnagar, a key industrial and agricultural hub in western Uttar Pradesh, often known as the ‘sugar bowl’ of India for its massive sugarcane production. In the run- up to the 2014 general elections, Narendra Modi exploited a manufactured Hindu-Muslim incident in Muzaffarnagar to polarise the state and through it much of northern India. Muzaffarnagar has been healing, though, and there’s a bright Muslim woman from the vicinity who rose to become an opposition MP of notable calibre from the Hindu-majority constituency. While Uttar Pradesh triggered Modi’s ascent to power, it also helped the opposition in the 2024 elections to confront Modi’s communal vitriol, leaving him short of over two dozen seats. So far so good. Modi’s current innings has three years to go before the 2029 elections. It must be given to him that he is a quick learner. A foreign reporter asked him if there was something he would’ve handled differently as chief minister. He said, not without being ominous, that he should’ve handled the media better. In other words, he wasn’t happy being called the destroyer-in-chief of Gujarat’s already enfeebled democratic credentials. Dipke’s Kafkaesque nightmare was probably addressed perfectly by the peerless Ghalib, a key witness to the brutally quelled revolt of 1857. “Chalta hoon thodi door har ik tez rau ke saath/ Pehchanta nahi hoon abhi raahbar ko main!” Rekhta.org translates it thus: “Short distances I walk with everyone who moves apace/ I know not yet the guide nor recognise his face.” The writer is Dawn’s correspondent in Delhi. [email protected] Published in Dawn, June 2nd, 2026