’12 good years doesn’t mean 50 bad…’: Why Pooja Bedi chose divorce; expert weighs in

4 min readNew DelhiJun 5, 2026 04:00 PM IST

Pooja Bedi’s personal journey offers a nuanced look at marriage, identity, and separation. After a promising start in films with Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar, she chose to step away from her career following her marriage to Farhan Furniturewala.

Reflecting on that phase on Jos Alukkas’ YouTube channel, she shared that in 1994, “there wasn’t that much of an uproar as it is today,” after she married a Muslim man. She added, “This sentiment of Muslim and Hindu, which is so sad because when I was growing up, it was actually true democracy and truly secular in so many ways.”

She described her former in-laws as “conventional” and explained that expressing her own identity within that environment could have caused discomfort, which influenced her decision to leave films. “I thought to myself that if I am going to be a wife and a daughter-in-law, I think I should aim to be the best version of that. That’s my new avatar,” she said, also pointing out that at the time, marriage was often seen as the end of an actor’s career.

Speaking about her marriage, she maintained that it was not something she regretted. “Marriage is an experience, it’s a journey. I thank him for my two beautiful children. I don’t know how life would have been without them. I love them. My marriage gave me a best friend because my ex-husband, till today, is my best friend, and my children are my love, my life,” she shared. The couple eventually separated after 12 years, with two young children, and she recalled, “I was 24 when I got married, and 32 is when I got divorced.” Despite the change, she emphasised her emotional clarity: “My joy was never taken away. I was so happy to be married, and I was so happy to be divorced.”

Her decision to part ways came from a place of self-awareness. “I am thankful and grateful for the 12 years I had together, the children that we had together. Thank you, but just because I had 12 good years doesn’t mean I should have 50 bad years,” she said. At the same time, she acknowledged the emotional weight of separation, calling it a “crushing blow in many ways” when it became clear that “things are utterly miserable and are not going to change. It’s beyond repair, and at that point, you have a decision to make.”

When individuals suppress parts of their identity to fit into family or marital expectations

Gurleen Baruah, Existential Coach at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, “It really depends from person to person. Suppressing parts of identity is a very broad statement, almost like an accusation, so we cannot generalise that every time someone adjusts to marital or family expectations, they are suppressing their identity. Identity itself is evolving and changing through life. People adapt, shift, and grow in different relationships and environments.”

She continues, “But yes, if someone truly feels they are suppressing themselves, that is something deeper which can only really be explored in a safe space, sometimes even with a psychologist. One way to navigate this is through mindfulness and self-awareness, sitting with yourself and understanding all your parts, old, new, evolving, and trying to integrate them rather than losing yourself completely.”

Making a balanced decision about separation while managing emotional and social pressures

“Again, there is no fixed checklist for when a relationship is ‘beyond repair’ because that itself can sound very absolute,” shares Baruah, adding that if two people constantly cannot stand each other, there are repeated conflicts, emotional exhaustion, or the relationship starts impacting the wellbeing of themselves or other family members, then something important needs attention.

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“A balanced decision starts with sitting with yourself and honestly understanding what is happening within you and the relationship. Sometimes conversations, space, or even therapy can help people understand patterns more clearly. Emotional and social pressure will always exist, but decisions made only out of pressure rarely feel settled internally,” concludes Baruah.