When Vicky Kaushal spoke about ideal partner: ‘We make each other…’; expert weighs in

Vicky Kaushal once spoke his heart out to British adventurer and TV show host Bear Grylls about his ideal partner, just before he got married to actor Katrina Kaif. “I would (get married). I would love to at some point. It’s just that…whoever that person…makes you feel at home all the time. I guess there’s this understanding… where you love each other for your plusses and minuses, both. And we make each other a better version of each other,” he said on the survival reality show Into the Wild with Bear Grylls in 2021.

The couple, who got married in December 2021, is now parents to a six-month-old Vihaan Kaushal.

What’s your idea of a family? (Photo: Freepik)

There is something deeply touching about that thought. Because beyond attraction, compatibility, lifestyle, timing, or chemistry, this is what many people are truly longing for in relationships. “Not perfection. Not performance. Not constant excitement. But a place where they can emotionally exhale,” reflected psychotherapist and life coach Delnna Rrajesh.

From a psychology perspective, one of the deepest human needs in relationships is not simply to be loved. “It is to feel emotionally safe inside that love. The phrase “feeling at home with someone” sounds simple, but emotionally, it carries enormous depth. Home, in its healthiest form, means belonging, ease, acceptance, and the feeling that you do not have to constantly protect yourself to stay loved. Can you bring your tired self there? Your ambitious self? Your confused self? Your insecure self? Your imperfect, emotionally messy, still-healing human self? And still feel accepted? That is where emotional intimacy begins,” she noted.

Many people confuse love with emotional safety, but psychologically, they are not always the same thing. “You can deeply love someone and still not feel emotionally safe with them. Can you express disappointment without fearing shutdown? Can you share vulnerability without feeling emotionally exposed or criticised? Can you make mistakes without suddenly feeling less valued, less understood, or less emotionally welcome? Because long-term relationships are sustained not only by love. They are sustained by emotional safety.”

In real relationships, people bring much more than charm, attraction, and shared dreams. “They bring childhood conditioning, family patterns, emotional triggers, stress responses, insecurities, personal ambitions, fears, coping mechanisms, and unfinished healing journeys.”

Another powerful aspect of Vicky’s reflection is this idea of “making each other a better version.” This is where relationships become psychologically transformative. “A healthy relationship should not require you to shrink yourself, silence your needs, abandon your growth, or constantly prove your worth. Instead, it should create emotional conditions where growth feels safer.”

What Vicky’s reflection ultimately captures is something many people deeply long for but struggle to articulate. The healthiest relationships often do not feel like constant performance, emotional guessing, or walking on eggshells. “They feel like emotional rest. A place where you are deeply accepted, honestly challenged, imperfectly human, and still encouraged to grow into the fullest version of yourself.”

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Because perhaps healthy love is not ultimately about finding someone who completes you. “It is about finding someone with whom safety, acceptance, growth, and home can quietly coexist.”