Radhika Merchant on feminism, marriage, matriarchy: ‘Some places Anant leads…’

Radhika Merchant Ambani recently responded to a question about feminism during an interaction with the youth-led organisation I.I.M.U.N. (India’s International Movement to the United Nations). Dressed in a semi-formal, all-white ensemble, she spoke about matriarchies. “I’ve grown up in a matriarchy. My mother’s house is a matriarchy. I am married into a matriarchy. Both my mother and mother-in-law are very strong women. I don’t catch them being told to do anything by anybody (laughs). I think as feminists, we win on the day… this is no longer a question just for women. I think it starts with educating men and women today. Like you have to educate men also in the expectations of women and the way in which they respect women. Like today, we are different, but we are equal,” she expressed.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.

Reflecting on her marriage with Anant Ambani, Radhika continued, “I don’t think even in my marriage, both of us are equal in every aspect. There are some places where Anant leads, and there are some places that I lead. But overall, we treat each other with respect. I think we are equal. In India, in general, it was a very matriarchal culture up until the British came.”

Taking a leaf out of her expression, we asked a psychotherapist to analyse how growing up and being married into matriarchal families changes equations for women and their families.

While conversations around equality often become debates about rights, responsibilities, power, and roles, her perspective brought the discussion back to something much simpler and far more important: mutual respect. “At its core, feminism was never meant to be about proving that women are better than men. Nor was it about competition, power struggles, or replacing one hierarchy with another. Healthy feminism is fundamentally about dignity. It is about recognising that a person’s worth should never be determined by gender. It is about creating a world where people have the freedom to contribute, lead, nurture, succeed, and express themselves without being limited by outdated expectations,” said Delnna Rrajesh. psychotherapist and life coach.

What’s your take? (Photo: Freepik)

Expressing her appreciation for Radhika’s acknowledgment that equality does not mean sameness, Delnna said, “This is where many people become confused. Equality does not mean both partners must contribute in identical ways, possess the same strengths, earn the same income, or lead in the same areas. In fact, most thriving relationships do not operate that way.”

“From my work with couples over the years, I have seen relationships where the woman was the primary breadwinner and relationships where the man carried most of the financial responsibility. I have worked with couples where one partner was naturally more decisive and others where leadership shifted depending on the situation. Interestingly, relationship satisfaction was rarely determined by who earned more, who led more, or who sacrificed more. The strongest predictor of relationship health was often much simpler. People wanted to feel valued. They wanted their contribution to matter. They wanted to feel respected,” continued Delnna.

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A simple relationship practice

One practical exercise Delnna often recommends to couples is creating intentional conversations that move beyond logistics and responsibilities. “Relationships often become strained not because love is missing, but because understanding is. Setting aside even 15 minutes each week to explore the emotional side of the relationship can create surprising shifts in connection. Couples can gently explore what has felt heavy lately, where they feel supported, where they feel misunderstood, and whether there are contributions that are going unnoticed. These conversations help people move away from scorekeeping and towards understanding. In many relationships, appreciation grows not because circumstances change, but because awareness does,” said Delnna.

When children grow up seeing women make decisions, express opinions, manage finances, build careers, lead families, and be respected for their contributions, those experiences quietly shape their understanding of what is possible.

Similarly, when children grow up seeing men participate in caregiving, emotional conversations, household responsibilities, nurturing relationships, and expressing vulnerability, it expands their understanding of masculinity. “One of the most powerful shifts families can create is allowing children to see a wider definition of both strength and success,” said Delnna.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.