I see his face: Ateneo players deal with grief over teammates’ deaths

Ateneo players Sam Reyes, left, and Kieffer Alas speak up during an episode of Let’s Talk with Pia Hontiveros podcast on the Aurora tragedy that claimed the lives of two of their teammates.–Photo screengrabbed on The Pod Network Entertainment YouTube

Still grieving the deaths of teammates Rene Baterbonia and Divine Adili, Ateneo players Kieffer Alas and Sam Reyes continue showing signs of survivor’s guilt compounded by frequent attacks on them on social media.

The two survivors spoke out publicly for the first time on the events that happened during the drowning deaths of their teammates during a team-building activity in Dipaculao, Aurora.

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“It’s like going through two deaths,” Alas said during the “Let’s Talk” podcast hosted by Pia Hontiveros-Pagkalinawan. “The first one is losing our teammates and the next is being criticized for their deaths.”

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“We lost them, we witnessed it happen,” he added. “Social media is putting the blame on us and it’s hard to put into words. [I just turned] 19. It’s just hard. I didn’t think I would be experiencing this.”

Alas and Reyes, speaking publicly for the first time since the incident, rejected claims that team members were jealous of Baterbonia’s basketball potential, calling the allegations both false and painful.

“We were there. We lost two of our brothers,” Reyes said. “It hurts so much. We survived, but it feels like we’re being killed, too.”

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The players also revealed the emotional toll the tragedy has taken on them, with Reyes describing persistent guilt over Baterbonia’s death and Alas recounting how he nearly drowned before being rescued by teammate Malcolm Tyler.

“I feel guilt. Rene was beside me and I felt I could’ve done more so he wouldn’t drown,” Reyes said.

“It was eating me alive that there are times when I’m just awake. That night, when we were still in Aurora, it was already 12, I tried to sleep but I could still see his face. When I carried him, I saw his face. When I tried to sleep, I’d see his face.”

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Alas, who, like his teammates, has been dealing with online death threats, recounted how he almost perished during the accident.

“I really gave up at the time,” he said. “Once time kept on going by, I felt the floor bed, it was long before I felt the floor bed. I kept going down and was thinking of accepting that I was going to be gone.”

“When my feet touched the sand, there was a glimpse of hope and I jumped and gasped for air.”

Fortunately, his teammate Malcolm Tyler was there to rescue him.

“I was screaming for help. Thankfully, Malcolm went closer to me and kept screaming in my ear to [push] my belly button to the sky.”

Baterbonia and Adili died during the incident.

Reyes said Adili “still had a pulse” when he was brought to the shore. Team members, meanwhile, tried to resuscitate Baterbonia, but a medical staff member stopped them to rush Baterbonia to the hospital.

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“They did CPR for a bit on Rene, but the medic stopped it so they could put him on a stretcher and rush him to the ambulance,” Reyes said.