The long wait while trying to conceive: A father's POV

Fatherhood begins long before a baby is born. It starts in the moments a husband chooses to carry his wife’s fears alongside his own, to remain hopeful through disappointment, and to keep showing up when answers seem out of reach.

For Roldan Magadia, those lessons came during a painstaking three-year journey of trying to conceive before he and his wife, Ria, welcomed their son, Frankie, into the world.

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Much of the conversation surrounding fertility and trying to conceive (TTC) focuses on women—and rightfully so. People always tend to hear about a woman’s many sacrifices, the medical procedures, and the emotional toll of waiting.

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Over the years, Ria documented parts of their TTC journey on social media, openly sharing the challenges, heartbreaks, and small victories that came with trying to conceive.

Her story resonated with many couples navigating similar experiences.

But behind those posts, she also told another story… that of a husband learning how to support his wife through years of uncertainty while quietly preparing for fatherhood himself.

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@riaamagadia All that matters now ❤️

♬ Little Sparrow – Paul Alan Morris

For the Magadias, the journey to parenthood was one shared equally by two people.

“We’ve always treated each other as teammates when it comes to life,” Ria told the Inquirer. “When challenges hit us, we remind each other that we’re always on the same team. It’s not us versus each other but us versus the problem.”

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That mindset would shape how the couple navigated three years of uncertainty.

The journey

For years, the couple went through consultations, medical tests, changes in healthcare providers, and periods of rest before trying again.

“The hardest part of it was seeing the frustration and doubt slowly exhausting my wife’s mind,” Roldan said. “At first, it was easy to be optimistic. But if it takes years of trying without your desired results,it drains your energy and confidence.”

During the Magadias’ TTC journey, Ria made the difficult decision to step away from a career in apparel retail marketing that she deeply loved in order to focus on her health and give herself the best chance of conceiving.

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Meanwhile, Roldan, learned that early on, it was “important that as a husband, you remain strong and support your wife physically, mentally and emotionally throughout the process.”

Roldan willingly underwent medical tests himself and worked alongside his wife to improve their health.

“I think from the start, I understood that I needed to be there,” he said. “I wanted to lessen the burden for her.”

For Ria, those moments revealed the kind of father her husband would become.

“He never made me feel like we were running out of time,” she said. “He always reminded me that I was enough regardless of the outcome.”

“He also took ownership of the journey and willingly went through the tests because he knew it takes two people to make a baby. That’s when I realized that even before we became parents, he was already becoming a great dad,” Ria added.

It’s positive

Eventually, after three years of trying, the couple received the news they had been praying for. The couple recalled how it felt when they knew that a little one was coming.

“It was a mix of joy, excitement, fear, anxiety and gratefulness,” Roldan recalled. “I was very happy knowing that what we’d been working hard for was finally happening.”

The journey did not end there.

Like many first-time parents, the couple had to navigate pregnancy, postpartum recovery, and the realities of caring for a newborn.

When asked what it was like, Ria said, “The first year of motherhood felt surreal. It was exhausting, but it was also beautiful.”

Throughout that transition, she found herself appreciating her husband’s quiet acts of support even more.

From diaper changes and 3 a.m. feeds to simply refilling her water bottle while she breastfed, Roldan made a conscious and consistent effort to be present.

“What I admire most is that he’s constantly trying to become a better person because he knows our son is watching. That kind of intentional fatherhood makes me love and respect him even more,” Ria said.

Velcro baby

Today, Frankie is a happy and affectionate one-year-old whom his parents describe as a “velcro baby” after inheriting their naturally clingy personalities.

“Both [Roldan] and I are naturally clingy and affectionate people,” Ria said. “So it makes sense that we ended up with a velcro baby.”

“They say velcro babies are often babies who feel safe and secure with their parents, and whenever I hear that, it makes me feel like we’re doing something right,” she explained.

Roldan went on candidly about how Frankie is a mix of both his and Ria’s “smarts and good looks.”

He said: “From his Mom, I think he inherited her thoughtfulness and being affectionate, especially to those he considers family. From me, I think he got my curiosity and stubbornness, but in a good way.”

“For his age, he’s a bit tall which we’re not sure where he got since we’re not the biggest in stature,” he shared laughing.

Asked next what fatherhood made him to be, Roldan said fatherhood has strengthened his desire to provide for his family and be more present at home. His favorite part, however, is watching his son grow.

“Bittersweet,” he said. “I’m glad his development is steadily progressing. He’s now able to crawl, speak a few words, and start to walk. But on the other hand, I never feel like I’ve spent enough time with him as a newborn, infant, and now as he’s becoming a toddler. Now I really understand what ‘time flies’ means.”

This father’s day

Celebrating Father’s Day with Frankie, now one year old, Ria expressed how grateful she is for every single day that Roldan showed up for their family, “even in the little ways that often go unnoticed.”

Asked what his message to Roldan was, she bared her heart with the Inquirer and said: “It has been such a privilege to have a front-row seat to the father you have become and the father you’re still becoming.”

“Frankie is so lucky to have a dad like you, and I’m so lucky to be raising him with you. I admire the way you love, provide, and care for us. I can’t wait for Frankie to grow up and fully realize just how amazing his dad is,” she added.

Roldan, Ria, and Frankie Magadia during Frankie’s baptism.

This Father’s Day, Roldan says he is most grateful for “the gift of family.”

“For the longest time, it’s just been my wife and I together through the ups and downs of life,” he said. “But now, we get to share with another member of the squad all the experiences we’ll have next.”

Long before Frankie called him his father, Roldan had already begun becoming one. In the quiet but consistent everyday decision to keep showing up, for the family he only once hoped for and now continues to build.

Being present

For couples still navigating their own TTC journeys, the Magadias hope their story serves as a reminder that parenthood often begins before a child is born, in the choice to face life’s uncertainties together.

And if there is one lesson Roldan hopes other fathers and couples take from his family’s story, it is the same principle that carried him through three years of waiting.

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“Be each other’s support system,” Roldan said. “Be there when one of you feels weak. Be there when it’s hard. Be there for the small wins, especially for the big ones. Just choose to always be there.” /edv