Why Ellen Adarna prefers Cebuano when disciplining son Elias

CEBU CITY, Philippines — Cebuana actress and social media personality Ellen Adarna has discovered that when it comes to disciplining her son Elias, nothing gets the message across quite like speaking in Bisaya.

During the second part of her guest appearance on Kuan On One with host Melai Cantiveros-Francisco, Adarna shared that she and actor John Lloyd Cruz often marvel at how well-behaved their son is.

“Buyag-buyag, si Elias no, wa juy problema nga bata. Kami ni John Lloyd makaingon jud mi nga unsay gibuhat nato nga buotan man kaayo ni,” she said.

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(We really have no problem with Elias. He is so well behaved. Me and John Lloyd would often wonedr what we did to deserve such a polite son)

According to Adarna, she has only scolded Elias three times in his life.

The first two times, she tried doing so in English.

“Ang first two, akong English-English,” she recalled.

However, she said the approach did not seem to have much effect.

By the third incident, Adarna switched to speaking in Bisaya.

“Wa na, gi-Bisaya na nako,” she said. (Then I tried doing it in Bisaya)

The difference, she noted, was immediate.

“Wa jud siya mousab, Bisaya ra gyud diay ang tambal,” she quipped. (He never repeated the error. So it’s Bisaya which solved the problem)

READ: Ellen Adarna, John Lloyd and the art of co-parenting

The power of the mother tongue

Adarna said her seven-year-old son does not fully understand Cebuano, but the language somehow carried more weight.

“Bisag di kaayo siya kasabot og Bisaya, lahi jud ang feelings ba,” she said. (Even though he can’t fully understand Bisaya, I think the feelings are different)

She recalled noticing the fear and seriousness on Elias’ face after she scolded him in their native tongue.

“Kita jud ka sa iyang nawng. Hadlok jud kaayo siya ba. Wa na jud siya mo-usab,” she said, adding that the incident happened around two years ago. (You can see it in his face. He was so afraid, he never repeated his mistake)

Since then, Adarna said she has not had any problems with her son.

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Raising children with Cebuano roots

Adarna also revealed that she wants her daughter, Lili, to grow up speaking Bisaya.

“Bisaya. Bisaya man tanan yaya nako. Nya Bisayaon jud ni nato,” she said when asked whether she preferred her daughter to learn Cebuano or Tagalog. (Bisaya. The yayas are all Bisaya so she has to kearn the language too)

The actress, who grew up in Cebu City, said she considers herself a relaxed parent. However, she hopes to raise children who are respectful, strong-willed, and grounded in faith.

For Adarna, it appears that when it comes to parenting, some lessons are best delivered in the language closest to home.

“Bisaya ra gyud diay ang tambal,” she said.