'Love makes a family': How two single dads redefine fatherhood

LAPU-LAPU CITY, Cebu — To be a parent is a daunting feat in itself. To raise a child on your own takes even more strength and sacrifice.

This Father’s Day, two single dads share very different journeys but the same steady love for their children.

For one, fatherhood began with adoption and the choice to build a family.

For the other, it means working far from home and enduring the distance just to provide.

‘So much love to give’

Fatherhood came in an unexpected way for Jesselito “Jessie” Perez.

As a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, Jessie never imagined fatherhood would come in the way it did. Building a family was not part of his immediate plans — until he met his son, Gabriel.

Eight years ago, he received word about a baby who had been found abandoned in a dumpsite in Mandaue City, wrapped inside a grocery bag. The infant was brought to a hospital for treatment, where he remained for nearly two months.

READ: FACES OF CEBU: Jessie Perez, 41, LGBTQ adoptive father

A social worker by profession, Jessie stayed by the baby’s side throughout his recovery. During the months that followed, what began as caregiving slowly grew into something deeper.

“When I saw the child, I realized that he was an answered prayer to me and my family,” Jessie said. “I’ve always believed that I had so much love to give. Even before becoming a father, I knew in my heart that I wanted to raise a child someday.”

It takes a village

It wasn’t only Jessie who grew attached.

His family, who helped care for the child, also came to see Gabriel as their own blessing. Adoption soon became less of a decision and more of a certainty.

But the process was far from easy.

“Every day was a challenge on my part. Since I was already attached to the child, I was anxious that he would be taken away from me. I was also sad for him — he didn’t have an identity or a family.”

Still, Jessie and his family pressed on, determined to give Gabriel the stability and future every child deserves.

READ: Step-by-step guide: How to adopt a child in the Philippines?

“When Gabriel came into my life, everything changed,” he said. “Suddenly, my dreams were no longer just about myself — they were about giving him a good life, guiding him, and making sure he grows up knowing he is deeply loved.”

Eight years later, the adoption process has been completed, and Gabriel is now legally under Jessie’s custody. All that remains is to formalize the child’s birth records.

For Jessie, hearing that he had finally been granted custody remains one of the most fulfilling moments of his life.

“When the opportunity came to adopt Gabriel, I didn’t focus on the challenges,” he said. “I focused on the privilege of becoming his parent.”

READ: How to celebrate Father’s Day, and keep dad inspired all year round

Under watchful eyes

Like many parents, Jessie admits that fatherhood is a constant learning process.

The challenge is made even greater by his demanding work as a social worker and his pursuit of a master’s degree in the same field.

Still, he says it is all worth it, as he fondly looks back on how his son has grown from a shy child into a bright and energetic young boy.

“Being a single parent can be difficult at times, but every sacrifice becomes worth it when I see him happy, healthy, and growing into a good person,” Jessie said.

READ: Meaningful Father’s Day celebrations that won’t break the bank

He acknowledges that some people still question whether children can thrive outside traditional family structures. Over time, however, he learned not to let those opinions define him.

“As a gay single father, I’ve sometimes felt the need to prove that I am capable of providing the love, guidance, and stability that any child needs,” he said. “Over time, I learned not to let those opinions define me. Instead, I focused on raising my son the best way I know how.”

“The truth is, children don’t measure love by labels,” he said. “They measure it by who shows up, who listens, who comforts them when they’re scared, and who celebrates their victories. That’s what I strive to do every day.”

Love that knows no distance

For Jay Vincent Delos Reyes, being a father means putting in the extra effort even on days when struggles weigh him down.

In the early years of raising his son, Dwayne Elijah, Vincent worked as a lechonero in Cebu. But when the COVID-19 pandemic hit, the business shut down, and he lost his job.

He later worked as an e-bike driver before moving to Pampanga a month ago to return to lechon-making and earn a more stable income.

The move came at a cost.

His five-year-old son, whom he had raised since infancy, remained in Cebu with family members.

“Dako gyud siya nga sakripisyo kay layo ko nila, nya di na sad ko kakita sa akong anak (It’s a big sacrifice because I now live far from my family, and I don’t see my child as much),” Vincent said.

READ: Father’s Day Reflections: Navigating Life Without a Father

The past month, however, has been especially difficult.

Vincent shared that Dwayne is now under the care of his own mother, and maintaining communication with the child’s mother has become challenging. Since moving to Pampanga, he has yet to speak with his son.

Still, he remains committed to supporting Dwayne in every way he can.

“Nagsupport gihapon ko sa akong anak (I am still supporting my child),” he said.

Hope isn’t lost

Whether near or far, Vincent said his responsibility remains the same: to provide for his son and help build the future he dreams of for him.

He plans to stay and work in Pampanga for the rest of the year to continue supporting his family. Though he has not been able to see or talk to his son lately, he remains hopeful that they will be reunited.

What keeps him going are the memories they shared together — the beach trips, the laughter, and the bond Dwayne formed with Vincent’s mother, who helped raise him.

READ: Linya ni Papa: Cebuano dad lines we all know too well

“Akong inspirasyon kay ang akong anak. Kung wala akong anak, wa gyud koy mahimo (My son is my inspiration. If not for my son, I would have done nothing,” Vincent said.

“Dako kaayo kog pangandoy para niya. Akong paningkamot para ra sa iyang bright future (I have big dreams for my son. My hard work is all for his bright future).”

Distance, he said, will never diminish the love he has for his child.

READ: Fatherhood Above All: A single father’s sacrifice

Choose to love

Vincent said being a father means continuing to work hard and holding on to hope, even when circumstances pull him away from the people he loves most.

“Stay positive. Paningkamot nga magpadayon sa inyong kinabuhi. Ayaw mo pagpawa sa paglaom (Strive to keep moving forward with your lives. Do not lose hope),” he shared.

Jessie, on the other hand, says fatherhood means choosing love every day and embracing the responsibility that comes with it, regardless of how a family is formed.

“Love makes a family. Whether you’re a single parent, an adoptive parent, a grandparent raising a child, or part of an LGBT family, never doubt your value or your ability to nurture a child. Our families may look different, but the love we give is the same,” Jessie said.

“What matters most is the love that fills your home and the values you pass on to your children. At the end of the day, every child deserves to be loved, and every loving parent deserves to be celebrated.”

Both parents, despite their different journeys, believe it is love that makes a true father.

READ: Solo parents, LGBTQIA+ urged to apply as adoptive, foster parents