It took me almost two hours today to just think of the column title, actually even longer because I’ve been thinking…

It took me almost two hours today to just think of the column title, actually even longer because I’ve been thinking for some time now about the general topic of, shall we say, non-typical parenting. The solo brainstorming came out of thinking about a popular quiz show on the United States’ National Public Radio (NPR) with a relatively long title, “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.”

I’ve followed the program since the 1970s as an undergraduate student in the US and then lost track of it after returning to the Philippines. I’ve since rediscovered it, with great pleasure (old love!) over the last 15 years or so, following it now through the internet, with its wide variety of programs broadcast from different American cities. I pretty much catch the NPR programs on KQED, one of the NPR member stations serving the northern California area, where I lived years ago. It keeps my aging brain stimulated for continuing learning.

“Wait, Wait” falls under the genre of “trivial” competitive shows where contestants are asked what seem to be the most trivial questions, trying to answer as quickly as possible and amaze audiences. I put the quotes on “trivial” because I don’t believe there’s anything really trivial on our planet.

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“Wait, Wait” has a large following, with competitors not coming from the academe and with audiences from all walks of life. The “contestants” are not “geniuses” or walking encyclopedias, although they certainly are “neurodiverse” people who enjoy collecting facts in their heads.

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Let me throw you a sample question, which will be the topic of my column today: What’s the difference between solo and single parents?

I’ll admit I’ve used both terms interchangeably for years to refer to other parents like myself. The commonality we share is that we are all raising (or once raised) children alone. The difference is that single parents are not parenting while living together (or cohabiting) with the other parent of the child. It gets complicated here: the parents may not be having a relationship with each other (some, though, may have had a relationship in the past or may eventually have a relationship). The key here is that the two people are not living together.

Many times I’ve been with my children and the co-parent(s), with so many complications in the setup we have, so we simply tell people—especially if the children are still young and are physically present— that we’re the child’s co-parents (tatay and nanay and other variations thereof), and want to keep it simple for now and can explain next time we meet!

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Which is what I’m doing right now for today’s and future columns. Just rest assured that in co-parenting—single or solo—we try our very best to give our all to the children, who are often also legally adopted. (Let me also say that we have these difficult situations because there’s so much more love needed to care for and raise children than what people are ready to commit to, and I’m talking about lifetime commitments.)

My column today and next week project into the future. What happens to grandparents in these situations? And what happens to the single or solo parents who become grandparents?

Simple answer: they take on the commitment of a “regular” lolo or lola. They can also opt to adopt as a tatay or nanay, but many of us are older and may ask our younger son or daughter (and their partner) if they want to adopt, which demands so much more energy and patience and just plain old love to do what young parents do.

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Next week, I’ll be sharing more information using the “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me” format, which I can assure you will be most exciting and many of you might be adding, “you’re insane.” I get that a lot, usually with laughter and a hopeful big hug.

To prepare you for the next installment of this article, let me sneak in another “trivial” question: Is there a grandfather’s, grandmother’s, or grandparents’ day for the solo and single gray versions?

The Roman Catholic Church does have a National Grandparents’ Day, first declared by Pope Francis. It’s around the corner, on the first Sunday of July, which is also the Feast of Saints Joachim and Anne, the lolo and lola of Jesus (put another way, the parents of Jesus’ mother, Mary).

Many readers probably have become Joachims and Annes, which takes many shapes and forms. I’ve written about how, if it had not been for a stroke last February, I would have plunged right into a new challenge with a new grandson, becoming a tongue twister of a solo lolo.

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