Portugal, what are you like?

“If Portugal was a person,” she went on to say, “it would be the welcoming grandmother who greets you with cups of tea, sandwiches, cakes, olive oil, wine – all the amazing things that are here. It’s like coming home after being away for a long time, arriving at your grandparents’ house, meeting your grandma, and just receiving that love.”

She’s right, of course. Portugal, the grandma (avó), is not interested in all the worldly drama, beyond what you have to do to get by. What’s more important, thankfully, is having a sit down, taking it easy for a moment, and having a brief break from the bureaucracy and what needs ‘rendering unto Caesar’.

Em’s a fan of Portuguese culture, and in case you hadn’t noticed, so am I. So what other analogies, similes and metaphors can I share with you today to sum it up in a word or two, that might convey a sense of Portugal’s intangible goodness?

Visitors love, and the Portuguese themselves are very proud of, the history, and rightly so. And in that sense, Portugal could be described as a museum. A huge living and interactive museum, with not only notable monuments and attractions, but a sense of the rich and dynamic past riven into the everyday calçada cobblestones beneath your feet; within the road signs that subtly catalogue the people of a noteworthy past, and the ever-present azulejo tiles that tell stories, create everyday art in the public space, or merely and proudly show house numbers.

Yes, a museum. But also a gallery. It can’t be just me that feels this country must be one of the most photogenic places on earth, blessed with a light that showcases and illuminates an incredible range of ‘exhibits’ or ‘pieces’. Sure, other countries are renowned for their photo-ops, a Grand Canyon, an Opera House or an iron or leaning tower.

But here, there’s a diversity of objects. They range from the most seemingly-disrespectful and abundant graffiti, to pop-up installations that might be artful, informative, humorous, or all three, as well as the obligatory adornment of roundabouts with the most brilliant and bizarre of themes.

A gallery for sure. But a festival too, right? From Portugal Day onwards and the Santos Populares festas and parties, this delightful land will be raving until the end of summer and then again at Christmas, with random and locally relevant festivities popping up too, across the land, according to local folklore.

This is the party capital of the world, when you factor in the relaxed stamina of the Portuguese who seem to celebrate every saint, sardine and top-level soccer match (as you can witness right now), regardless of work, school or sleep.

Did you see the Rock in Rio footage? That was Portugal at play and a precursor to the big festival and festa scene that will attract the biggest names from around the world alongside national treasures, at modern festival settings and massive agricultural shows alike.

Do not be surprised to see legends like Xutos e Pontapés playing with brand new tractors and prize pigs in the same showground. And how long until Coldplay, Katy Perry or Rod Stewart are invited back to play a gig in Portugal’s farming heartland where their crooning will be complemented by cattle lowing and the purchase of some new workboots for your quinta (farm)? Only here.

What then of those more familiar icons, and the stock-in-trade of the tourist boards and marketing men? Pastéis de nata, yellow trams and primary-coloured cockerels are part of our story, and great parts they are too. Fátima, fado and football are also essential, and a catchy little alliterative attempt to have us understand what’s going on here.

But none of these alone, or if we limit ourselves to them, can do this magnificent culture justice. When trying to squeeze all of what Portugal has to offer into just one image, phrase, box or pigeon-hole, the truth is, it can’t be done.

None of these shorthands, or motifs, should be overlooked or left un-enjoyed. But under no circumstances should anyone ever imagine that alone can they convey what life is like here. To mistake the objects for the experience is a grave error, yet the experience that awaits the newcomer must be unlocked by them as the touchstones and talismans of what they are about to receive.

Eat the nata. Ride the tram. Rock in Rio … in Lisbon! But know that the beauty of Portugal is in a higher dimension, accessed by these Portuguese portals. Take your pick, take your time, and allow the magic to come to you. And give me a knowing nod, or drop me a line, when you are blessed by the ethereal magic that is Portugal, beyond name and form.

Like Em says, it’s like a loving grandma’s hug. And whilst you might know what that looks like, how it feels is something else entirely, only knowable through direct and sublime experience.

Read Carl Munson’s previous article: Nothing to see here