Fathers’ Valuable role in Shaping their Children’s development

The article “What strong fathers really give their kids—and what data say about it” (06/21/2026) shared with us the importance of fathers in preparing their children for personal growth and financial management. This encourages us to share why fathers as models and mentors are valuable.

Fathers have a valuable and critical role in shaping and molding their children as good future citizens of our country. They should be consistent in being a good model and mentor to help their children in pursuing positive interests and contributing to their development, especially with some unfavorable news involving children lately.

Fathers along with mothers and other elders should forbid children from engaging in improper and silly expressions, “paglaki ko, gagayahin ko tatay ko.” or “wala yan, talo yan ng lolo ko.” (I will be like my father when I grow up. My grandfather is better.) These colloquial and/or parochial mindsets are exaggerated or inflated ways in order to brag and get attention. If taken in the wrong context by children, this can build up and may result in negative thoughts.

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It is important for fathers to mentor their children in a light or relaxed, casual, and friendly way to make it more enjoyable in developing character among their children since someday they will be independent. Preferably, they should mentor children on character strengths or things that can go right, as developed by Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson, who are world renowned American psychologists for their work on character strengths and virtues.

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Some of the best, simple, practical, and memorable ways to develop character and independence among children are by doing house chores and errands, taking the initiative to complete assigned duties, traveling to exotic and mystical but safe places, swimming at the middle of nowhere but also safe, playing passionately a sport, and deciding what and why to study.

Any father would want to see their children attain the usual and more popular perception of success. However, fathers should also model and mentor some of the more “rarity of traits” or the hard-to-find characteristics in a person, which are at times misunderstood and as a result, misused.

Applying a metaphor in the cute “I like you so much” coffee shop movie scene in “Meet Joe Black” (portrayed by Brad Pitt), Susan (portrayed by Claire Forlani) mentions some rare traits. She said in a playful way, “a one-girl guy” and “you’ll have a hard time finding one these days,” referring to someone who truthfully would take care of a partner.

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Similarly, fathers should be reminded to continuously model and mentor their children some of these rare traits despite life’s challenges or difficulties to avoid misuse. These are quiet confidence instead of being “loud,” humility instead of arrogance, gratitude instead of self-centeredness, Christ-like behavior instead of showing material wealth and excesses in life, results-oriented behavior instead of announcements and a constant need for validation, and the will to strive instead of mediocrity.

We must understand that what we see, hear, or experience in daily life as modeled and mentored by our fathers in part is how we see ourselves, who we become, and who we are. From another view, simply, we are partly a reflection of the character of our fathers.

Raising children who are independent and with good character is why fathers as models and mentors are valuable.

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Raymund Sisenando R. Mercado, [email protected]

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