Expert on Barun Sobti and Pashmeen Manchanda’s long-distance love: ‘Came back a month…’

Barun Sobti and Pashmeen Manchanda’s relationship is the kind of love story that predates dating apps, social media algorithms, and the pressure to curate a perfect romance online. The couple, who have now been together for decades and are parents to two children, recently opened up about their journey during a conversation with filmmaker Farah Khan on her YouTube channel.

Their story began long before fame entered the picture. As Pashmeen revealed, the two have known each other since their school days in Delhi. “We’re school buddies. We’ve known each other since…” she said, before Farah Khan jokingly interrupted, “Don’t do this to 9th standard kids.” The couple laughed as they recalled how young they were when their relationship began, a bond that would eventually withstand distance, career uncertainty, and major life transitions.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.

What makes their story particularly striking is that a significant part of their relationship unfolded across continents. Pashmeen shared, “We’ve also had a long-distance relationship. I was away. I was in Australia. I had gone there to study.” At the time, Barun was still finding his footing professionally. “He had gotten his first show then,” she said. Barun added that before acting took off, “I was actually working in a call centre.”

The distance, however, did not alter their plans for the future. Pashmeen recalled that while she was studying in Melbourne and Barun was beginning his television career in India, they remained committed to each other. “I literally came a month before we were getting married,” she said. “But I had come in between. That’s when he said, let me meet your parents.”

Farah Khan appeared particularly impressed that the couple successfully navigated a long-distance relationship. “Long distance, y’all made it work,” she remarked. Years later, the couple’s relationship remains rooted in companionship, friendship, and shared history, reminding us that lasting partnerships are sometimes built not through grand gestures but through patience, trust, and growing up together.

Growing together through different life stages

Sonal Khangarot, counsellor and psychotherapist at The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “Long-term relationships that begin at a young age thrive when couples are able to balance personal growth with relational growth. One of the most important psychological factors is adaptability—the willingness to accept that both partners will evolve in their values, goals, interests, and identities over time. Strong communication helps couples regularly update their understanding of each other rather than relying on outdated assumptions.”

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Emotional safety, where both partners feel heard, respected, and accepted, Khangarot says, encourages honest conversations about changing needs and aspirations. “Shared values and a commitment to the relationship also provide stability during life transitions such as career changes, parenthood, or personal challenges. Additionally, maintaining curiosity about one another and supporting individual growth prevents stagnation. Couples who view challenges as opportunities to grow together, rather than threats to the relationship, are more likely to remain connected and resilient across different stages of life.”

Habits that help long-distance relationships last

Here is a checklist provided by Khangarot:

Relationship Habit

Why It Matters

📞 Consistent communication

Builds reliability and reduces uncertainty.

❤️ Sharing feelings, not just updates

Strengthens emotional intimacy and connection.

📝 Clear expectations and boundaries

Helps prevent misunderstandings and conflict.

🤝 Involving each other in decisions

Maintains a sense of partnership despite the distance.

🎉 Celebrating milestones together

Creates shared memories and reinforces commitment.

🌱 Supporting individual growth

Allows both partners to develop without feeling restricted.

☕ Rituals such as virtual dates or scheduled calls

Creates consistency and emotional reassurance.

🎯 Focusing on a shared future

Makes the distance feel purposeful rather than permanent.

🔒 Choosing trust over assumptions

Strengthens security and reduces unnecessary anxiety.

How many boxes can you tick?

The more of these habits a couple consistently practises, the more likely they are to maintain trust and emotional closeness despite the distance.

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Balancing personal ambitions and a shared future

“Long-distance relationships thrive when couples prioritise consistency, transparency, and emotional responsiveness,” says Khangarot, adding that trust is built through regular communication that goes beyond daily updates to include sharing feelings, concerns, and meaningful life experiences.

“Setting clear expectations around communication frequency, boundaries, and future plans can help reduce uncertainty and prevent misunderstandings. Successful couples often maintain a sense of partnership by involving each other in important decisions, celebrating milestones together, and finding ways to stay connected despite the distance,” concludes Khangarot.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.