Parents debate curbing kids' social media time

As policymakers debate whether Thailand should follow countries such as Australia and the United Kingdom in restricting children's access to social media, many parents say the real battle is already taking place inside their homes.

For some, smartphones and online games have become a constant source of conflict. Others have spent years carefully building routines to limit screen time before problems emerge. Still others argue that no law can replace consistent parenting.

Their experiences reflect a broader national conversation over where responsibility should lie as Thai children spend increasing amounts of time online.

Inside the household battle

For Tippy, the mother of two sons aged 15 and 17, the challenge emerged gradually. "When they were little, we did have rules," she recalled. "We allowed them to use screens for only a short time."

Looking back, she believes the problem began not with social media but with online gaming. "I think the real problem started with the computer because they played games. At that time, they weren't interested in those so-called social media platforms."

She later realised that online games had become social spaces. "Games have their own communities. Kids chat with each other there." Like many working parents, Tippy found it difficult to enforce rules consistently. "We had rules, but eventually stopped using them," she admitted. "When I didn't have time to supervise my boys, I would just let them keep playing."

Asked if she had simply found it impossible to resist their demands, she replied: "Yes, something like that."

Although she believes parents bear primary responsibility, she supports stronger government regulation. "I think it's good. At least having some kind of framework is helpful."

Her views have also changed over time. Initially, she saw little value in her elder son's screen use. "He was just playing games and screaming at the screen. I worried about what he would do with his life."

She later recognised educational benefits through YouTube. "He learns a lot now." Eventually, she relaxed the rules. "Oddly enough, he seemed to do better after we stopped limiting him so much," she said.

"It's like letting someone eat until they're full. If he wants to play, let him play, and one day he'll find his own balance. We just keep watching for changes."

The approach was not without setbacks. Her son was once scammed out of digital items worth more than 10,000 baht. "He was upset and probably felt guilty too," she said. "We used it as a lesson."

Unlike Tippy, Suchada, the mother of a 12-year-old girl, believes the key to managing children's digital lives lies in preparation long before they become teenagers. Her daughter only opened her first social media account less than five months ago, despite many of her classmates having been online for years.

"Rules cannot suddenly be imposed on teenagers if there has never been any structure before," she said. "Boundaries and habits need to be built gradually from early childhood."

Before agreeing to let her daughter join Instagram, the family discussed what should and should not be shared online, as well as the risks of interacting with strangers.

Social media use remains tightly supervised. Through Apple's family-sharing system, Instagram is limited to 40 minutes a day and TikTok to 30 minutes. Social media is only available after school until around 9pm.

Her daughter occasionally argues that friends enjoy much greater freedom. "I explain that every family has different rules," Suchada said. "These are the limits I feel comfortable with because she's still developing her judgement."

No law can replace parenting

Rather than relying on punishment, she believes years of gradual guidance have made those boundaries easier for her daughter to accept. Suchada welcomes stronger government standards but sees them as supporting, rather than replacing, parents.

"If several parties work together, it can help," she said. "The government could require platforms to adopt stricter age limits or better content filtering. That could improve children's safety online." Even so, she doubts regulation alone can solve the problem.

"Children today are very skilled with technology," she said. "They know how to access things online. Laws probably cannot prevent everything."

Anisa, the mother of a tenth grader, says that the debate has focused too heavily on legislation and not enough on parenting itself. Her son only received his first personal smartphone a few months ago after years of sharing a family device connected to her own account. "My approach was to delay giving my child his own phone for as long as possible," she said.

She believes children's values and self-discipline must be developed long before adolescence. "You spend 15 years raising a child. Their character should already be fairly stable. Building values takes years."

Unlike some parents, Panisa does not believe government bans or school policies will significantly reduce children's dependence on screens. "I'm sure they wouldn't help at all," she said.

In her view, many parents hope someone else will solve a problem that ultimately belongs to families. "Many parents don't want their children to become addicted to phones, but they hope someone else will deal with it, carry the burden and do the hard work."

She is equally critical of expectations placed on schools. "Your child is your child, not the teacher's," Anisa said. "How can teachers be responsible?"

Nor does she believe school phone bans can be effectively enforced. "Many children don't have only one phone. A teacher may confiscate one, but the child still has two or three others."

Instead, she argues that parents must first examine their own behaviour. "Parents themselves are addicted to their phones," she said. "When I go to restaurants, I see everyone looking down at their screens."

Simply telling children to stop using smartphones is unlikely to succeed, she said. "If you want your child to do something else, you have to find activities for them and do those activities together with them. This is entirely the parents' responsibility." She also believes many adults underestimate the online world their children inhabit. "Adults may think social media is mainly about content, but for children there is another society out there that we know nothing about."

She recalled a case at her son's previous school in which students used artificial intelligence to create pornographic images before selling them online, resulting in a criminal investigation under the Computer Crime Act, and the students involved not receiving a graduation certificate. "Social media can genuinely ruin a child's life," she said. Even so, she remains unconvinced that legislation is the answer.

"How exactly are you going to stop a child from using social media?" she asked. "This problem cannot be solved simply by banning things. It's about the process of raising children."

Whether parents seek stronger government support, rely on years of carefully built routines or insist responsibility rests primarily with families, all face the same reality: no single law, school policy or household rule is likely to resolve the growing influence of screens on children's lives.

(Part II: Parents on the Front Line: 2nd part of a five-part series)