Canadian married to Pakistani shares 5 cultural shocks: ‘Brown people would never…’

Marrying into a family from another culture can mean adjusting to traditions and habits that are completely unfamiliar. For Canadian content creator Cassie, tying the knot with her Pakistani husband introduced her to a whole new way of life. In an Instagram video that has now gone viral, she spoke about the everyday cultural differences that surprised her the most, from family titles and messaging apps to the unmatched hospitality she experienced.

One of the first things that left Cassie confused was how family members are addressed. She explained that, unlike what she was used to, relatives in South Asian families often have specific titles depending on both their relationship and whether they are from the mother’s or father’s side of the family. “Depending on if that’s their dad’s mom versus their mom’s mom, you might be calling the same grandma a different name. What?”

For her, remembering who was called what became one of the biggest learning curves.

From iMessage to WhatsApp

Another unexpected adjustment was switching to WhatsApp. Cassie admitted that before meeting her husband, she had “never used WhatsApp, never downloaded it”.

Now, however, it has become her primary way of staying in touch with both her husband and his relatives. Laughing about her initial reaction, she recalled thinking: “What do you mean we’re not using iMessage? Like, what’s happening here?”

The hospitality that left her speechless

Cassie also spoke about the generosity she witnessed while visiting South Asian homes, saying it was unlike anything she had experienced growing up.

According to her, guests are welcomed with an elaborate spread regardless of when they arrive. “You could show up at somebody’s house unannounced at 8:00 AM, and they will have five entrees and three side dishes ready to go.”

Watch the video:

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Comparing it with how she hosts visitors, she joked: “Here’s some cheese and crackers,” while many South Asian households somehow seem to have “17 dishes ready to go.”

Another cultural difference involved where visiting relatives stay. Cassie said members of her own family often book hotels when travelling, but she quickly realised that wasn’t the norm in her husband’s family. “Brown people would never,” she said.

Instead, family members are expected to stay with relatives. She added that if someone chose to stay in a hotel instead, the immediate reaction would be: “Why didn’t you stay with us?”

News travels at lightning speed

Cassie also found it amusing how quickly information spreads within extended families. According to her, everyone seems connected, and updates reach relatives almost instantly. “Everybody knows everybody, quite literally everybody, and news travels fast.”

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Joking about how it all happens, she added: “I think it’s through WhatsApp.”

Wrapping up the video, Cassie said these were only a handful of the cultural differences she has noticed since becoming part of a Pakistani family. Reflecting on the experience with humour, she said: “I could probably give you, like, 50 more,” suggesting that adapting to a different culture has been an ongoing and enjoyable learning experience.

Internet says she got it ‘100% accurate’

The Instagram video quickly attracted thousands of reactions, with many users saying they could relate to her observations.

One person commented, “I am very impressed with how accurate you are.”

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Another wrote, “What’s the point of having family if you are staying in a hotel? It’s low-key disrespectful at some point. I don’t know I feel like my DNA just spoke up.”

A third user, who grew up in an Indian household, shared, “Having grown up in an Indian household, the family naming titles is one of my most favorite parts of the culture. It’s so easy to know exactly who and which side of the family you’re talking about. And I literally exclusively use WhatsApp, haha. If my American friends message me via regular sms, i won’t see it for days because I never check it!”

Another commenter added, “Im married to a Mexican and this checks too. I think its just a brown culture thing.”